Monkey
by kittyandstars
Summary: A/U- Harvey and Mike as brothers. Hopefully funny story set around the Time of the accident. Mike P.O.V. Includes bacon with every review, jk, but i do mention bacon a lot.
1. Chapter 1

**Flipped:**

**Chapter 1A- Communist Bacon**

A/N- So, I am starting yet another story, because, I have a no idea to stop my self. Sorry (Sheepish Grin,) so enjoy. This chapter is a little short though. Sorry about that. Also please review, not to sound desperate, but the brighten my spiraling downward but yet upward life. Also if anyone has any better summaries that would be baus. Also my mission trip was beyond-words amazing. Anyway more insomniac 2:37 am fanfiction. With love- me. Anyway love you all and each review is a fabulous poorly drawn platypus.

"_We'll I'm all messed up__  
__That's nothing new__  
__Hey monkey, when you open up your blue eyes,__  
__I don't know if I'm wide awake or dreaming__  
__But all I ever need is everything"- Monkey-Counting Crows_

There are normally two types of big brothers, well at least if a 7 year age gap exists and your brother is kind of a weird family hating communist during his high school "rebellion." I'm not sure about other brothers since I never had any but, that is how it went with mine. If anyone else has a similar story feel free to email me at mikekittyross . Stop your mocking, I can hear it in my mind. I made that email when I was 11. STOP ITS! I'm fake crying, all because of you.

Anyway, before I totally drag down your emotional thermometer for day, a story that may/may not be funny. You see Harvey, my brother during his pseudo-communist days, was a "vegan." By a "vegan" I meant he actually sneaked down stairs to eat bacon and watch porn at 3 in the morning. He did in fact cook the bacon naked, if you wondering. Yes ladies, you can picture that. I still have nightmares, but I have a feeling you, unlike me, would enjoy my brother naked. I think it may have contributed more to my PTSD than the accident. He only said he was a vegan to impress some girl, who ended up being a lesbian and now lives on a commune of man hating lesbians with out children; they don't shave. But now we get to to the real story, wait that was the real story. You see I tricked you into thinking, that I had something interesting to say but really was telling all about my brother and his bacon, porn, and failed lesbian relationship. Anyway back to the actual story, or is it all another trick. You will never know unless you read on. Anyway...

**Chapter 1 B- I love you man, but please disinfect your wound away from me**

No one had really gotten used to it yet. Well, I don't think you just get used to your parents dieing at 11 and 17(almost 18,) but you awkwardly watch saturday night live reruns and sit awkwardly developing post traumatic stress disorder, and re-reading in your mind an article on pot you read 3 years ago. But that is totally beside the point, so here it goes, serious time. Well serious for a traumatized 11 year old boy but beside the point.

We were eating Bacon. Well Harvey was always eating bacon, but I rarely did. We had just gotten out the hospital. It was still extremely awkward. I mean our parents were dead, and he found he would be raising us, well legally it was my grandma for like 2 months, but she was senial and spent her time volunteering raising cats, or something, I don't know. Anyway, in the car crash I had split my leg, and had to get 37 stitches. With metal ripping through your pasty white skin, you have to wear a dressing and do some disinfecting. I also don't know if that sentence made any sense but, Ok. At 11 am it was time clean out my oozy, crusty gash with peroxide and put some new gauze and re-wrap my ace bandage around the shin, and all that crap. I was sitting with my leg out on the couch sideways, half leaning against Harvey's shoulder while he ate a big mac, with my foot on the little arm rest. I started to unwrap the gauze and all that shit, when he looked over at me.

"Dude, really?" Harvey asked, playing on his giant cell phone, which was like 6 pounds totally-not-portable piece of Nokia shit. But he loved it, or so I assumed.

"Yes, or I can get an infection and die." I said defiantly.

"You wound is oozy, and bloody and gross and oozy."He responded, changing the channel.

"I never asked you to look." I was actually upset, well I was normally upset now-a-days, but I was upset he was so selfish. He had barely got a scratch on him during the crash, the least he can I do is let me clean my damn wound.

"Why can't you let me clean my damn wound? You don't ask me how it is is doing. Or how I'm doing, I ask you everyday. Listen, I know you aren't happy about this little arraignment any more than I am, but the least you can do is care." I screamed at him. We were both on edge, both traumatized and damaged.

"I'm sorry." He set down his huge ass phone, on the oak colored Ikea table. "I'm just still umm.. shaken, just like you. We both are. But seriously I love you man, but please disinfect your wound away from me. It grosses me out." Harvey said, half laughing, half serious.

"Fine but it's not like I can walk on my own." It's true. I had crutches and couldn't put weight on the leg. "So either way you have to see the wound, whether you carry me or let me do it here." I said defiantly.

"Fine Mikey." Harvey then ruffled my hair, and got up and walked to the kitchen. "What do you want to eat."

"Noodles- please." I flashed a smile.

"I was actually-screw it I'm going to go and run and get something to eat. I'll be back in an hour." Harvey said, flashing a smile. "Love you."

"Same to you!" I said back to him watching some trashy show on TV.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Jumpers

A/N: So this based on a true story... I actually witnessed a suicide on a train, in Washington DC. With the same manner of trains, only the guy was mid-40's or 50's. I then snuck out in the same way. So enjoy!

"_I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend" -Jumper-Third Eye Blind_

**Chapter 2 A: SPLISH SLOPSH SMUUSSH! I have to vomit**

We going to the taco place across town, because all the ones here suck. Trust me, I have an eidetic memory. I was standing waiting for the 9:50 am train to queens. A random man who looked like Cosmo Kramer from Seinfeld was pacing back and forth like a creeper, I swear he was going to rape me. At first he seemed like another homeless bum pacing around, for enough change to take the subway, besides the raping part. Then the other train across from us came speeding down, when he jumped. Like something out of a movie. SPLISH SPLOSH SMUUSSH! I am going to vomit. Like vomit, like that guy did with all of his body, you know vomit. On the bright-side, It was cleverly timed, the two trains were passing at the same time so you didn't see anything. _How lucky am I? A suicide with a heart not traumatize me!" _

"Let's get out of here. I really do not feel like having the police take my statement. I want a taco." Harvey said. Harvey was a unique person. In the good way, but odd. He was too smart for his own good. He wasn't as smart as me but rather more cynical, and emotionally unavailable. At one point I thought he was a sociopath. I'm still not sure if he is capable of truly empathizing with anyone. No he just can't foresee consequences and is extremely manipulative. Who am I kidding, the guy was a smart ass doosh-bag. I love him, but still.

"What if the police catch us leaving?" I asked nervously. I hadn't done anything thing risky since my parents got their head cut off by a drunken cab driver. In fact, I hadn't even gotten out of bed without a flashlight to go over and turn the lights on. I never risked a single cell in my body in the last 3 months, they were all to precious to me now.

"It's fine, there is like 300 people here to be witnesses. You and I saw it, it was like cosmo kramer committed suicide." Harvey said. "I could go for a cigarette." Harvey muttered under his breath. He never used to smoke, ever since our parents died he started smoking.

We slowly sneak out in Zoidburg style fashion out of the doors. While people screamed and they turned them away and stopped the train and had everyone leave and people were crying, and they were nonchalantly sweeping up heart and lung and liver. It was like the car crash only I wasn't unconscious. The escalators were right in our grasp. We ran like we were going for Olympic gold. We ran like we were running from the police, which we were. As the sun appeared we ran out of the door Harvey screamed. "Free at last! Free at last from suicidal organ stew! Free atlast!" He sounded like a fake churchgoer from the south. Though suddenly I wasn't that hungry and my wound wasn't that bad. At least if I wasn't organ stew, I think I was ok. I still can't watch seinfeild. Well that and the I saw that episode with pastrami and sex at the same time. That terrified me in a way I can not explain or move on from.

Chapter 2B: I have a right to protest for equal bacon prices in this subway station, sir, or something just don't drag me away to bellvue please

I was on a protest bender. I suddenly wanted to protest everything, even things I didn't know what they meant. I kept creating my own protests at the house against Harvey. Practicing saying big words where big words shouldn't be. Really, I would protest anything at all. Even seething, totally ridiculous like communism in east Russia, which was practically dead by now. Or even more ridiculous, the Indian Removal Act. Yes, I am not kidding you I was protesting, the Indian Removal Act of 1830 in a Bronx Subway Station. One word crazy.

I was standing on a basket-weaved milk crate turned upside down, of to the side of the station. It was near the tile wall and I was alone. Yes, I was protesting alone. I am aware, now at 26, how stupid that is, but at the age of 11 I was, well not aware. "Apologize now! Apologize now! You took the Indians! You took the Indians!" I screamed out as loud as I could, laughing. "The monsters are going to eat the aliens! Kill all the 1830 Supreme court justices with magnetic penguins!" I yelled out, now you see I was drawing a crowd. I was trying to be as ridiculous as possible for fun and amusement.

"The time wave penguins in the from north Michigan skies! Dooms day approaches the black out penguins! Help the innocent people of the time waves escape! Dooms-black-out! Penguins!" I yelled out. That's when the officers came over. I knew I was screwed. I looked cray cray. They were going to take me in. I had gone over my head. Ok, I had gone way over my head.

"Is everything OK here?" A female officer asked me.

"Uhhhhhhh... Yeah, that's fine. All is dandy! I'm not crazy! What are you doing! Stop handcuffing me! I told you I am not crazy!" They were handcuffing me, and I started flailing and kicking and trying to get away. It wasn't working, I was a scrawny 65 pound 11 year old. They think I'm crazy. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO CRAZY PEOPLE! THEY LOCK THEM UP!

"We're gonna take you to someplace where you can be safe." The lady said in a condescending tone.

"Just let me call my brother, he will say that I am sane! I SWEAR IT WAS JUST ONE BIG JOKE! I'M SORRY!" I was screaming, and flailing and being dragged out of the subway station and into a police car. And crying, sadly I was crying.

"We're gonna get you help." The lady cop said to me, as they put me into the car. I was sobbing like a wee baby. It was so embarrassing. "Where are you taking me?" I cried out, in vain of answer. I knew my yelling was futile. I knew that It didn't matter what I said. They thought I was crazy. So I wept silently in the fetal position, until the car pulled up at Bellvue, I was officially going to be a crazy patient. I'm screwed.

A/N: So the second story in this chapter is to be continued, unlike the other stories. I'm still not sure exactly where I'm taking this yet. I'm just kind of thinking of things that have happened to me or family and adapting them a little bit. But thanks for all the positive feedback.- Allie


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